Chief of Sinners

Script

Premise: A caped hero is defeated by his arch-enemy, a dark personality living inside him

REDTAIL: Caped crusader-archetype                 FALCON: the requisite boy wonder-archetype

JACKAL: Unseen, central villain                         BULLDOZER: Massive, deadly right-hand man                     

Page 1

Panel 1

We see office people watch as the high-rise across burns. There’s been an explosion near the 16th floor. Smoke climbs the side of the building. Beneath that we see a very colorful though somewhat small plane (akin to the Batplane, The JET for now) hovering outside of it.

NEWS (in electronic bubble):

POLICE BELIEVE THE JACKAL AND HIS MEN DETONATED THE BOMB WHILE INSIDE…

NEWS (in electronic bubble):

…ESTIMATE THE BUILDING WILL COLLAPSE IN LESS THAN FIVE MINUTES…

Panel 2 

12th floor. Inside the building… We see FALCON in a collapsed stairwell filled with people. He’s jumping out of the smoke for his entrance.

FALCON:

“FIRST ROPE’S SECURE! ONE AT A TIME, TAKE THE ROPE WITH BOTH HANDS AND DESCEND SLOWLY TO THE BASE!”

Panel 3

An older woman walks up to him, uncertain. He’s young, but kind and confident in response.

WOMAN:

“I’M SCARED!”

FALCOLN:

“YES MA’AM! SO AM I! NOW GO!”

Panel 4

FALCOLN is shouting into his ear-comm as the woman is the first to attempt to descend the rope.

 “REDTAIL! I’M ABOUT TO ATTACH THE SECOND ROPE.”


Page 2

Panel 1

19th floor. We see REDTAIL stunned, staring through the fourth wall. He’s surrounded by defeated henchman. He’s pinned one badly beaten henchman to the wall.

FALCON (electronic box, from ear-comm):

“DO YOU HAVE JACKAL?”

REDTAIL (weakly):

Yes.

Panel 2

REDTAIL is stumbling backwards in disbelief. The henchman smiles, knowing he has REDTAIL at a disadvantage.

HENCHMAN:

ARREST ME AND I’LL TELL EVERYONE ABOUT YOU AND THE JACKAL. YOU WANT TO GET RID OF HIM? GET TO THE 24TH FLOOR.

FALCON (electronic box, from ear-comm):

“SAY AGAIN! DO YOU HAVE THE JACKAL?”

REDTAIL:

NOT IN CUSTODY YET.

Panel 3

REDTAIL has pulled it together and handcuffing the henchmen.

FALCON (electronic, ear-comm):

“POLICE HAVE ACTIVATED THE EVAC DRONES. BUT THERE THIRTY TWO PEOPLE LEFT TO BE EVACUATED…”

Panel 4

We see FALCON covering his mouth as people evacuate down the rope in the background.

FALCON:

…AND ONLY TWENTY DRONES.

REDTAIL (ear-comm):

“CLEAR THE STAIRWELL.”

Panel 5

We see REDTAIL dragging off the henchman.

REDTAIL:

YOU MAY BE THE ONLY HERO TODAY.


Page 3

Panel 1

20th foor. The HENCHMAN is thrown at the feet of a crowd waiting to be evacuated, stranded above the burning part of the building. In the background, people are shouting, “You came back!” and “How do we get out of here?”

REDTAIL:

NO ONE TOUCHES HIM.

Panel 2

REDTAIL address the crowd of people. A large amount of the crowd is raising their hands in response. REDTAIL is pointing to a broken window, an opening from the floor to the ceiling.

REDTAIL:

RAISE YOUR HAND IF YOU WEIGH LESS THAN A HUNDRED AND EIGHTY.

Panel 3

We see people looking at each other in the crowd uncertain and scared.

REDTAIL:

EVAC DRONES WILL BE HERE SHORTLY. YOU’LL HAVE TO SHARE. PARTNER UP AND WAIT THERE.

Panel 4

The bigger guys are stepping away, one confronts REDTAIL. REDTAIL is stoic and stern.

MAN IN CROWD:

WHAT ABOUT THE REST OF US?

REDTAIL:

YOU HAVE FIVE MINUTES TO GET TO 18TH FLOOR. BUST OUT A WINDOW ON THE WEST END. 

MAN IN CROWD:

THEN WHAT?

REDTAIL:

WAIT.

Panel 5

An angry, tearful woman has walked up to REDTAIL who’s looking away from her.

ANGRY WOMAN:

AND WHAT ABOUT THE JACKAL?


Page 4

Panel 1

12TH floor. Back in the stairwell with FALCON, there are now two ropes, people are descending smoothly into the smoke. His hand is to his ear-comm as he’s getting REDTAIL’s message.

REDTAIL (ear-comm,)

“STATUS.”

FALCON:

FIRST RESPONDERS ARE ESCORTING EVACUEES TO A SAFE DISTANCE.

AND THE JACKAL?

Panel 2

We see REDTAIL racing up the stairwell.

REDTAIL:

HE’S NOT WON YET, FALCON.

FINISH THERE AND PILOT THE JET TO THE WEST END OF THE 18TH FLOOR. THERE WILL BE EIGHT MEN WAITING.

Panel 3

FALCOLN is visibly shocked by this.

FALCON:

YOU MEAN EIGHT EVACUEES?! THE JET ONLY CARRIES TWO PEOPLE.

REDTAIL (ear-comm):

“TODAY IT CARRIES AS MANY PEOPLE AS WE NEED.”

FALCON:

AND WHAT ABOUT YOU?

Panel 4

REDTAIL has exited the stairwell into a floor that’s bare and still under construction. We see walls of smoke climbing up one side and the horizon of the city on the other. There’s no glass, no furnishing, just the frame work of the building. At one corner we see the hulking, menacing BULLDOZER. He’s guarding an armored brief case. REDTAIL speaks into his ear-comm.

REDTAIL:

DON’T WAIT FOR ME.


Page 5

Panel 1

We see the brief case, it looks small as BULLDOZER’S gigantic hands wrap around it.       

BULLDOZER:

I DIDN’T BELIEVE… EVEN WHEN HE TOLD ME THE TRUTH. I ALWAYS WONDERED HOW HE KNEW YOUR EVERY MOVE. BUT I DIDN’T BELIEVE IT UNTIL NOW.

Panel 2

REDTAIL is walking up very cautiously from the doorway.

REDTAIL:

MY PLAN ALLOWS ONLY THIRTY SECONDS. PLEASE DON’T MAKE THIS TAKE LONGER.

Panel 3

We see the EVAC drones approaching from outside the 20th floor, nearing the pairs of evacuees in the open window.

BULLDOZER (in narrative boxes):

EVERYTHING THAT’S HAPPENING… EVERYTHING THAT IS ABOUT TO HAPPEN… THE JACKAL PLANNED IT. NOT YOU. YOU ARE ONLY A PIECE TO BE MOVED.

TAKE OFF YOUR MASK.

Panel 4

REDTAIL is now halfway across the room. He’s removing his mask, he’s not quite tearful, but the situation is very grim and you can see it on his face.

BULLDOZER

JACKAL WAS MORE THAN A LEADER.

HE WAS A BROTHER.

REDTAIL

HE WAS JUST A VOICE IN MY HEAD.

GIVE ME WHAT’S IN THE CASE. GIVE ME THE SERUM.

LET ME CURE MYSELF OF THE JACKAL. 

LET ME END THIS.

BULLDOZER

NO… 

Panel 5

BULLDOZER has the left the case in the corner. We see dark silhouettes to illustrate BULLDOZER is two to three times larger than REDTAIL, as BULLDOZER charges into a fight.

BULLDOZER

…ALLOW ME.


Page 6

Panel 1

FALCON is jumping into the JET, still hovering below the major source of fire eating away at the building. He’s shouting into his ear-comm.

FALCON:

POLICE ARE REPORTING EVAC DRONES SUCCESSFUL. NAVIGATING TO 18TH FLOOR NOW.

(Quietly,) JUST HOLD ON.

Panel 2

Meanwhile BULLDOZER is soundly beating REDTAIL, having already busted lip. It’s clear this fight will be one-sided.

REDTAIL:

LET ME HAVE THE SERUM.

JACKAL WILL BE GONE.

I’LL BE ORDINARY AGAIN.

YOU’LL WIN.

Panel 3

BULLDOZER is gritting his teeth, furious and determined. He continues his beating.

BULLDOZER:

JACKAL TOLD ME TO KEEP YOU HERE. THAT’S ALL I HAVE LEFT TO DO.

Panel 4

REDTAIL has drawn a gun unseen before now. He’s firing it into BULLDOZER.

REDTAIL:

I’M SORRY.

Panel 5

BULLDOZER has dropped to his knees, his eyes wide. Beyond him we see REDTAIL walking to the corner, to his destination, opening the case.

BULLDOZER:

THE JACKAL HAS WON

PAGE 7

Panel 1

The JET is climbing up the side of the building, the tow capable is extended, the remaining eight evacuees are hanging for dear life.

FALCOLN (electronic bubble):

HEADED TO YOUR POSITION NOW! BUT THE ENGINE IS STRUGGLING!

AFTER THAT, IT’LL BE A CONTROLLED DROP!

Panel 2

REDTAIL has opened the case. He looks distraught.

REDTAIL

CANCEL THAT. COMPLETE THE EVACUATION.

FALCON (electronic bubble)

I WON’T LEAVE YOU BEHIND.

Panel 3

We see in the case. It’s empty. It was a ruse. There’s no serum. Nothing but a note.

REDTAIL:

THE JACKAL HAS WON. YOU’RE THE HERO, DOMINIC.

Panel 4

REDTAIL has opened the note. It reads…

NOTE

ENGINE STRAIN TRIGGERS BOMB

-JACKAL

PAGE 8

Panel 1

The JET explodes. 

Panel 2

The explosion causes the building to snap in half. REDTAIL is still screaming inside.

REDTAIL:

FALCON!

Panel 3

The building is now toppling towards the building of onlookers we saw initially. 

Panel 4

Inside we see REDTAIL in his finally moments, watching and knowing that something inside of him caused all this, that the darkness within him ruined everything. He is a prisoner of this building, of his body, and of his mind. We can end on a quote. For example:

“I learned to recognise the thorough and primitive duality of man; I saw that, of the two natures that contended in the field of my consciousness, even if I could rightly be said to be either, it was only because I was radically both. -Robert Louis Stevenson”

Published by Patrick Healy

Writer. Artist. Menace.

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